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...Shut up, Holly. Friday, Mar. 28, 2008, 7:42 am The main reason that I hate living is that you always have to pay to be somewhere. Not really, I just made that up. But it does make my life a lot harder.I think Ken thinks I have no idea how much it costs to live lately. Which I think I do, because I am almost always worried about it. He seems to always be thinking that I expect him to buy things and do things that I really don't. I don't know where this confusion comes from, but I would like it to go away. Maybe it has something to do with how I grew up; and that you asked for stuff all the time, with the expectation of probably not getting it, and if you were lucky maybe getting in a while later when you'd forgotten about it and didn't expect it. Surprises are nice, so I generally operate that way. Which I'm guessing I'll have to stop, because as soon as I say I want something, Ken assumes I want it RIGHT NOW, and I assume I'm just saying Hey, here are some things I like and am interested in. For future reference. Because when Christmas comes around you say you don't know what to get me. In general, I tend to want things that I can't have anyways, and after a week or so of wanting the thing, I have successfully convinced myself that I in fact don't want the thing at all. I'm not talking about the DS. I don't think I ever said I wanted one of those, so I never had time to convince myself I didn't want it. Also, I suspect Ken would like to be able to talk about video games with me, or similar. And I would too, because that's something he really likes, and it's always good to like the same things. Except when there's only one cookie and you both want it. That's no good. Ken would probably try and give it to me, and then I would try and give it to him, and he would win the battle, and I would eat the cookie and feel guilty the whole time. I think, maybe, people don't realize the ridiculous levels of guilt that I can experience for what might be no reason.The hardship of not having or doing something is miniscule compared to how terrible I feel when I think someone else is missing out on something because of me. Stupid girl. |